Today is your first day of kindergarten. You are a very mature 5 years old; so responsible and meticulous. The questions you think to ask me sometimes make my head spin. First because of their high frequency, but second because of the incredible way your brain is churning. Sometimes I know the answer, sometimes I tell you I need to "look it up" (aka google), sometimes I tell you we will ask Daddy when he gets home. Either way, I know that question is not going away.
We packed your new sparkly backpack with your supplies, every single zipper equipped with a decorative keychain carefully curated from your collection. A fresh new lunchbox packed for your first time eating lunch away from home. We've practiced the zipper sliding, the opening of cheese sticks and yogurt, the rule of always eating your sandwich first. We visited your classroom and met your teacher. Found your hook and cubby, pointed out the doors you will enter and exit.
My sweet girl, these are all the things I can show you. I can prepare you for what I know will happen. But I can't prepare you for what I don't know. I don't know if someone will hurt your feelings. I don't know if we will forget your lunch one day, I don't know if you will feel homesick. Life is full of so many "I don't knows." But because we know and love Jesus, we have the ultimate "I know" because He promised to be our SUN and our SHIELD (Psalm 84:11). The sun lights, warms, and sustains our world, and the shield protects us from harm and provides comfort. Always take heart, because Jesus is the great rescuer.
This morning as I left you in the care of someone else, the tears were flowing freely, but not you, you were so excited. As I started the walk home, pushing your little sisters in the stroller, we were all silent until Juliet said, "Mom, I miss Violet." I told her I did, too. Time is so very precious. Wasn't it yesterday that I was swaying you back and forth as a newborn, begging God to help you fall asleep?
Am I being dramatic? Probably, it's my style. I've had you all to myself all day for 5.5 years. What I have learned, little one, is when we trust God with the little steps, we will learn to trust Him in the big steps. This is my prayer for you, my darling girl. Show your kindness and love to everyone you meet. You are never alone when you have Jesus in your heart. It's going to be ok. We are going to be ok. You're ready.
Love you forever,
Mama
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