Always Raney: November 2015

I am two months old today!

Two months old! I keep thinking that this is so different than when Violet was this age. Violet was SO TINY and Juliet is much more solid and feels sturdier at a younger age. She's wearing the clothes Violet wore when she was a few months older!

Remember last month when I said Juliet was a chill baby? HA! This girl has found her voice this month and isn't thrilled to be away from someone's warm arms. However, last week, the pediatrician diagnosed her with reflux and we started Zantac twice a day. This has definitely helped her be more content sitting by herself for a while. I am so grateful for this! Having a tiny, unappreciative human attached to you 24/7 is extremely draining physically, emotionally, and psychologically. The breakdowns (for all the women in the house) are a little less frequent, but they still happen.

I started back at work this past week, so that has been quite an adjustment. I am working part time (20 hours/week give or take) for the company I have been with for 11 years. My responsibilities have been reduced to the things I know I can handle and take care of well. I am extremely thankful for an employer who has worked with me through two babies and life changes! I am able to get close to two hours in before I get Violet up in the morning, and then two or more in throughout the day (nap times) and evening. I told Tim that the laundry and dishes may not get done as quickly as usual, but I'm hoping to get into a groove.

Juliet is still waking up to nurse ever 1.5-3 hours all day and night. At night, it's usually shorter spurts :( With baby #2, it's harder because I know I need to be up and on point in the morning for Violet and work. Probably once every other week or so, I absolutely cannot get Juliet to sleep and she will just cry for a couple hours. I always sort of hope this night falls on a weekend night so I have Tim's help with Violet in the mornings.

Tim has been so busy with work, fixing up one of our rentals for a new tenant, and other outside projects, that I have no choice but to push through. If that means one kid is crying for a few minutes while tending to the other, it just has to be that way. Crying does agitate me, but I'm learning to "turn it off" in my head and just do what I have to do until I can address it. One of the things I have been struggling with lately is just missing Violet. I miss our alone time and I miss just being with her. This doesn't mean I love Juliet less, it's just been an adjustment we are working through. I love the times that Daddy takes care of Juliet so I can give Violet her bath and put her to bed. I miss those times the most!

Going out alone with the two girls is still a little stressful, but I keep doing it in hopes that it will get easier. Juliet generally likes her carseat and riding in the car. Violet is a hit or miss. But I have decided that it would be great if every store had parking for moms with young children. This past week at Target, a kind stranger helped me get a cart because I had the huge diaper bag on my shoulder, Violet on one hip, and the infant carrier in the other arm. (I won't let Violet walk by herself in a parking lot yet). It's so hard but I know that these days are temporary and that it won't be like this for long (which makes me both sad and relieved at the same time). Each day is a lesson in self-sacrifice, unconditional love, and endurance. When being tough is your only choice, the Lord gives you the strength to do it.

Sincerely praying that this month brings longer spurts of sleep and a more predictable routine!

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