My LASIK experience

As of 6.13.19, I have new eyes.My -6.75 vision is no more! I wanted to write out my experience with LASIK so I remember and can describe in full detail in case one of my daughters or loved ones wants to have it done someday.

I arrived to the surgery center at 9:30am. The night before, I had two eye drop prescriptions filled. One of those drops was to be installed the evening before, and another set the next morning prior to surgery. The TLC eye center office is extremely comfortable and calm. They have a set up of coffee and a basket of snacks. The waiting room was almost completely full of naked-faced, glasses-wearing, foot-tapping people.

When they finally called me back around 10:30 (ugh, I know), I was put into an exam room where they looked at my eyes again. The nurse gave me a wipe for my eyelids. I had some stubborn mascara that I didn't realize was hanging on. Next they talk to you about what you're having done and ask if you have any questions. Several of my family members have had LASIK done, so I knew a lot of things, but one thing I HAD to have answered, is if my vision will ever go black during surgery. The nurse said that it might, but for just a second. She said some people go black, some go white, and others even different.

Then the doctor came in, Louise Doyle. She is a petite older woman, who has a very calming voice. She again asks you to state what you're having done, you sign a release form, and all that.

Then I was left in the very dim exam room to wait....for what seemed like another 30 minutes.

Finally the nurse came to get me. She set me in a set of chairs right outside the surgery room. She gave me shoe covers and a hairnet, wiped my eyes with an iodine solution, stuck a label that had my name on it on the top of my hat, and administered my numbing eye drops. The numbness was almost immediate, which pleased me. Suddenly, a nurse comes out of the surgery room and beckons my nurse, because the patient before me was feeling light headed and dizzy. Oh great....  So they walk her out like a baby learning to walk. Another employee asked the girl if it was amazing (lightheartedly). The girl swiftly replied, "NO!" So this is a great last view for me as it was my turn next!

They led me into a very cool room, that was also very loud. The sounds reminded me of what I imagine a submarine deep in the ocean sounds like. There was a bed that resembled a massage table, surrounded by many contraptions and machines. I laid down facing up with my head in the "donut" hole of the table. The nurse offered me a blanket, which I gladly took. I was warned it would be chilly in the room, so I was wearing leggings and a light sweatshirt. She placed a solid block beneath my knees, and it was ultra comfortable.

The procedure itself was like a blur, literally. First, they cut your flaps. The doctor placed an eye lid opener contraption into my right eye (not painful, just some pressure). I was told to look directly at the ring of light. It was difficult, because your natural instinct when presented with a harsh light is to close your eye, but I couldn't. I could tell my eyes were watering, but I looked at the light. She told me when the laser was starting, and I felt nothing. I did see little bursts of tiny white dots, but I could always stay fixated on that ring of light. The flap cut took just a couple seconds. She then removed the eyelid holder, put some gauze and tape on my eye, and then started on my left eye with the same process.

After the flap was done, she said "the worst part is over!" and I was again pleased. Now what I didn't know, is that the worst part was to come. She twisted the bed over (I assume to another laser machine), and proceeded to place the eyelid holder back in my right eye. Now this time, I was to stay fixated on a green light in the machine. When it started, I knew when she was lifting my flap, because my vision got very cloudy (not black). The laser began, and my main concern was staying fixated on that green light. It was my only focus. My vision went very cloudy white. The smell was like burning hair (I was prepared for that), and the sound was like a woodshop project. After the laser was done, they flushed my eye out. Again, I felt nothing except the cold drops of excess solution hitting my face. Then she used some sort of squeegee/brush to remove any debris from my eye. Then more rinsing. Finally, she was done and placed taped gauze on my eye. The same process for the left eye. I cannot describe to you how strange this experience actually was. I told someone it was what I imagine it's like to die. Seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, so many little bursts of light, cloudy vision, hearing people but not being able to speak. With that being said, it lasts only for a few minutes! I can imagine that someone that was not emotionally or mentally mature would have a very hard time with that part of the process.

The entire time, Dr. Doyle was talking me through each step, a nurse was rubbing my shoulder in comfort, and the rest of my body was extremely relaxed. When complete, I was told to sit up, swing my legs over, and stand up. My vision was cloudy, like I was wearing glasses rubbed with vaseline.
I was taken to an exam room where another doctor checked my flap and said it looked great. He put some more drops in my eyes and I was told to sit with my eyes closed for about 20 minutes. He then came back, checked the flap again, told me to go home and take a long nap, and then I was free to go!

My sister was waiting to drive me home, and I must say, my eyes were burning. Almost like a light acid burn. I closed my eyes the entire way home. Maybe it was the motion, but I was feeling a little carsick, and my eyes were burning. Not pleasant! When I got home, I was so relieved to see my girls' faces and they greeted me like I'd been gone for a month. I was able to take a 2.5 hour nap, and felt great afterwards. My vision was still cloudy, but again I was prepared for that. The fluids in my eyes would dissipate over the next few days.

Here we are on 6.14.19, and my vision is indeed better. At my post op checkup this morning, I was seeing 20/20 and things are nearing crystal clear. The thought of having such poor vision for my entire life, and being fixed in less than a few minutes under some lasers, blows my mind! I am that this technology not only exists, but is accessible! Grateful for the resources to make it happen, and the support from my loving husband.

Update 8.21.19:

20/20 vision and dryness is only at night and in the morning. I still fumble for my glasses on my nightstand in the morning. Can't believe I can see!

Dear Violet (on your first day of Kindergarten)

Dear Violet,

Today is your first day of kindergarten. You are a very mature 5 years old; so responsible and meticulous. The questions you think to ask me sometimes make my head spin. First because of their high frequency, but second because of the incredible way your brain is churning. Sometimes I know the answer, sometimes I tell you I need to "look it up" (aka google), sometimes I tell you we will ask Daddy when he gets home. Either way, I know that question is not going away.

We packed your new sparkly backpack with your supplies, every single zipper equipped with a decorative keychain carefully curated from your collection. A fresh new lunchbox packed for your first time eating lunch away from home. We've practiced the zipper sliding, the opening of cheese sticks and yogurt, the rule of always eating your sandwich first. We visited your classroom and met your teacher. Found your hook and cubby, pointed out the doors you will enter and exit.

My sweet girl, these are all the things I can show you. I can prepare you for what I know will happen. But I can't prepare you for what I don't know. I don't know if someone will hurt your feelings. I don't know if we will forget your lunch one day, I don't know if you will feel homesick. Life is full of so many "I don't knows." But because we know and love Jesus, we have the ultimate "I know" because  He promised to be our SUN and our SHIELD (Psalm 84:11). The sun lights, warms, and sustains our world, and the shield protects us from harm and provides comfort. Always take heart, because Jesus is the great rescuer.

This morning as I left you in the care of someone else, the tears were flowing freely, but not you, you were so excited. As I started the walk home, pushing your little sisters in the stroller, we were all silent until Juliet said, "Mom, I miss Violet." I told her I did, too. Time is so very precious. Wasn't it yesterday that I was swaying you back and forth as a newborn, begging God to help you fall asleep?

Am I being dramatic? Probably, it's my style. I've had you all to myself all day for 5.5 years. What I have learned, little one, is when we trust God with the little steps, we will learn to trust Him in the big steps. This is my prayer for you, my darling girl. Show your kindness and love to everyone you meet. You are never alone when you have Jesus in your heart. It's going to be ok. We are going to be ok. You're ready.

Love you forever,
Mama