Dear Violet,
How can it be that one year ago today we first met? It was
on that day that our souls were knit together forever. It was that day… I was
ruined forever. The me I had known for 31 years was no more. A violet-colored
wrecking ball had swiftly and perfectly demolished Alisa Marie Pierre
Raney. Wait! Before you think this is a
bad thing, allow me to explain. You see, your mama has a bit of a selfish
streak, a type A, get-out-of-my-way, get it done type attitude. You
single-handedly broke down that part of me. I was no longer living as just me.
My schedule and my needs were quite secondary now. I was suddenly living one of my most important
jobs ever…Violet’s mama.
When you were in my belly, Daddy and I would talk all the
time about who you might be, what you might look like. We had decided it would
be ideal if you looked more like mama but had daddy’s personality. I should
have known when you did you nightly gymnastic routines while I was trying to
sleep, that you were going to be spirited. God’s plan was different than ours
(this happens a lot; get used to it!); it turns out, He thought it would be
best that you look more like Daddy, but act more like mama!
Looking back, our first 24 hours together were quite
telling. When you decided it was time to come out, there was no delay or dilly
dally about it. You knew what you wanted
then and you still do now. You held your
head up with that tiny little neck; that told me you were strong. You let out a load roar when something didn’t go your way;
that told me you were bold. You were
only content in mama’s arms; that told me that you were mine.
We have spent every single day together for the past year,
and let me tell you. It has been quite a journey. There have been a LOT of
sleepless nights, a lot of bouncing, desperate cries for help (from both of
us), babywearing galore, tons of smiles, a constant stream of prayer, and an
exuberant amount of love. Until you become a mama yourself one day (and I pray
that you get to experience this!), you will not understand the love that I have
for you. Did you know that I didn’t understand Poppa and Nonna’s love for me
until I had you? It’s true.
With each passing day, I know it won’t be the same as
yesterday; you won’t be the same. This makes me both sad that my baby girl is
growing up, but excited to see you learn and develop. You change way too fast
for mama! You are super curious about everything; and always want to know
what’s going on around you (this is like mama). You love to understand how
things work or where things go (this is like Daddy). You are reserved in
public, but a little crazy at home (mama again). Daddy and Mama have lots of
wishes for you. We hope that you stay bold. We hope that you are brave. We hope that you are strong. We hope that you
are compassionate. We hope that you are kind. Most of all, we hope that your
heart will be aware of your need for Jesus. He loves you even MORE than us
(which is pretty hard for me to imagine), and He is absolutely your only
salvation.
So, my sweet Violet Marie, thank you for ruining me that
day. Thank you for giving me more joy than I ever knew was possible. Thank you
for making each day new and exciting.
Lord willing, I will continue to help you grow and learn. Although I don’t know how your life will
unfold, your story has already been written by our loving and compassionate God.
I will be forever grateful to be given the role of your mom; and I promise to
keep working hard to be the best mom I can be for you.
Love,
Mama
Love,
Mama
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The first time I held you
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One of the few peaceful moments our first night together
